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Best "Bone Head" Story

case12

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 8, 2004
Messages
1,450
Location
Crystal Lake, IL
My Dad was like that - we "gofers" took it hard back then.

I will add one more story - it is short and simple and basically a warning. Never sit down to rest on a nice soft rag that you did not realized had been soaked in gasoline. :torch: Casey
 

Mosesatm

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 18, 2005
Messages
9,177
If you decide to inch the engine over using the fan belt check for your finger's final destination to make sure it's not potentially between the belt and the pully.
 
P

PNewitt

Guest
(circa 1985)

The front of my CS is up on jackstands, to replace the power steering control valve.

Finishing up, I get the hoses from the valve to the ram "switched" by mistake.

Not knowing this, I start the engine, looking for fluid leaks, and the wheels turn: right-left-right-left, etc...all on their own. The car is suddenly posessed!

Stop the engine, switch the hoses...and tell no one that I did this.

Well, until now.

Paul.
 
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robert campbell

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 10, 2007
Messages
4,322
Casey,
Stuck a rag soaked in lacquer thinner that I was using to clean parts in my coveralls........ Walking around I could not figure out the growing burning sensation on my thigh on the inside and further...... Wow, did that burn for awhile!!!

Paul,
Had my 67 on jackstands doing I cannot remember what..... Put floor jack under and pulled jackstands out.... One not far enough. Released the floor jack and set car down on jackstand against the lower valance..... Still have it as proof of my stupidity.....

Not to mention the day I started same fastback in garage in gear...... Yup, launched right into my roll around tool box. Hood got dinged and was excuse to install the Boss 429 scooop!!!! See stupidity can bring about improvement!!! Now tell that one to my wife!! It is her car! She hates it when I break it!!

Rob
 

dpheyes

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 12, 2006
Messages
103
Location
Kodiak, Alaska
Picture this:

It's 1975, I'm 17 and have just bought my first muscle car - a 1967 Camaro SS/RS convertible (350, 4 bbl., 4 spd, 3.73 posi, etc.). I think it would look so much better if it were jacked up in the rear, so I hatch a brilliant scheme. I jack it up, drop the rear end out, and take it to the neighborhood welding shop. I have the guy cut the leaf spring mounts off of the bottom of the axle and weld them to the top. This would get me about 6" of lift - cool, right? Well, it was cool, until I tried to lay down some rubber in a parking lot and left the entire axle behind me on the ground! Oops!:embarass:

Doug in AK
 
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robert campbell

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 10, 2007
Messages
4,322
Wow!!! This is the best to date!!! I bet it sounded so good at the time!! I have done similar re-engineering thoughts on a much smaller scale. I also found out that those factory boys were not blooming idiots!!

What a story!!!

Rob
 

Stacey Enderle

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 14, 2006
Messages
181
Bone Head Award

Hi Gang,

I worked at the local NAPA store this past summer, and we had a couple of guys bring back new batteries that they purchased at our store and said they didn't work - were totally dead. I both cases, they had NOT taken the red plastic post protector off the positive terminal!

Dave


So many cars, so little time!

That's a good one!

Stacey
 
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Stacey Enderle

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 14, 2006
Messages
181
Picture this:

It's 1975, I'm 17 and have just bought my first muscle car - a 1967 Camaro SS/RS convertible (350, 4 bbl., 4 spd, 3.73 posi, etc.). I think it would look so much better if it were jacked up in the rear, so I hatch a brilliant scheme. I jack it up, drop the rear end out, and take it to the neighborhood welding shop. I have the guy cut the leaf spring mounts off of the bottom of the axle and weld them to the top. This would get me about 6" of lift - cool, right? Well, it was cool, until I tried to lay down some rubber in a parking lot and left the entire axle behind me on the ground! Oops!:embarass:

Doug in AK

Now that reminds me of an old movie called "American Grafitti" <= (GADS I can't spell) where someone snuck up behind a vehicle and chained the rear axil to the light pole if I remember right and the same thing happened. I never laughed so hard in my life at that time. I was just a little kid when I saw that.:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Stacey
 

somethingspecial

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 13, 2005
Messages
1,795
Wow!!! This is the best to date!!! I bet it sounded so good at the time!! I have done similar re-engineering thoughts on a much smaller scale. I also found out that those factory boys were not blooming idiots!!

What a story!!!

Rob

I agree Rob, The re-engineering job on the rearend is the best yet. The Tee Shirt in the intake manifold runs a close second.
 
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robert campbell

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 10, 2007
Messages
4,322
Every post brings back another memory. This is an abuse story.

Back in the early 70's I had taken a 67 2 barrel auto Fastback into the performance world. First it got Paxton supercharged and B/M auto upgrades. Then it went to a “hotted up” 351 4V Cleveland and Toploader 4-speed. 4.56 9 inch posi with 31 spline axles.

One Friday night a huge burnout was provided followed by a hammer shift into second. Left axle broke at the outer bearing and M-50 tire went for a ride after ungracefully exiting the rear quarter panel. M-50 tire still with brake drum attached (bad news for the brake shoes as it left) rolled down street and destroyed fence. Car sparked and skidded to a stop a bit low in the left rear. Had a set of Anson “Ground Grabber” traction bars which saved the brake backing plate and u bolts. Bonus pints for anyone who remembers Anson Grabbers!!!

The embarrassment of this in front of the Friday night cruise crowd was not as bad as fixing the fence. The real fun was when I got the car home. Looking at the damaged area was bad enough until I contemplated axle removal. There it was…. An axle broke flush with the face of the rear wheel bearing. Nothing to grab onto to pull it. Thought about removing the right axle and sticking a broom handle in a driving it out. Settled on drilling and tapping a 3/8 bolt into the end of the axle and attaching a short length of chain…..

That worked and next was brake and quarter repair. Broken axle had evidence of a small crack in the broke area that had weakened it some. I am sure my abuse of the car had nothing to do with it!!!

Rob
 

Sarge

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 22, 2002
Messages
333
Location
Folsom, CA
Back in the early 80's a woman across the street wanted a huge bush removed from in front of her house. I got the brilliant idea of hooking a chain to my Datsun pick up and pulling it out.

Of course I took the slack out of the chain and pulled as best as I could, but the bush wouldn't budge. Yeah, the king cab was that underpowered!!! So, I figure to get a running start at it. Gotta work, right???

Bush came out as planned, and with all of the tension on it, it shot forward. wayyyy forward, thru the back window, knocking me in the head, which proceeded to me knocking my head into the steering wheel. With me pretty much dazed, the king cab shot across the street into my parents house. Mom and dad were pretty surprised when the Datsun took part of the front room out... Fortunately, they weren't watching tv at the time. I had a heck of a time getting out of the truck, not to mention getting the truck out of the front room.

Robert
 

GT/CS S Code

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2007
Messages
912
Location
Victoria, B.C., Canada
Too funny! I hadn't read these before, so thanks for the "bump" Arlie! I'll add a new one of my own.

When we were just stupid teen aged kids (we're stupid adults now!) a friend of mine had a '55 Ford sedan (oh hell, now I'm REALLY dating myself ...). The old stock 272 "Y" block that was in it was getting really tired so we managed to find a bit fresher 312 "Y" block to replace it with. We were out at my buddy's uncle's farm and we had his '55 in the farm shop to do the motor swap. We'd pulled the old motor and were getting ready to re-install the "new" motor. At that point we realized that we didn't know if the "new / used" motor ran OK or not, since we'd only turned it over by hand and so we knew it wasn't seized, but we didn't know how well it ran. We came up with a brilliant idea! The "new / used" 312 was sitting on it's cast iron exhaust manifolds on a couple of blocks and it was hung from a chain block from a rafter in the ceiling of the shop. We decided that we'd put a little bit of gas into the float bowl of the carb and then hot wire the starter with a battery and just "make sure" that the motor ran OK. I mean ... it wouldn't run for very long on just that little bit of gas .... right? We filled the carb float bowl with gas, locked the throttle open, dragged over a charged battery and hot wired it to the starter ... and that motor ran just fine ... it had huge flames roaring out of the bare exhaust manifolds and it leapt off of the blocks and started swinging around the shop in ever widening circles on the chain hoist suspended from the ceiling rafter! Just about then his Dad and his Uncle walked into the shop to find a motor hanging from a chain, running full throttle, with flames roaring out of the bare exhaust manifolds and about four teen aged kids bobbing and weaving trying to stay the hell out of the way of this wild motor with a mind of it's own! They took one look at what was going on and shaking their heads they just turned around and walked back out of the shop again without saying a word ...
You wouldn't think that a motor would operate for THAT long with just the gas in the float bowl to run on, but it seemed like about 10 minutes before it finally ran out of gas and sputtered to a halt. It kept swinging around on the chain hoist for several minutes though and we just stayed the hell out of the way. It's amazing that the chain didn't break and drop the motor onto the shop floor and you wouldn't think that the rafter we had the chain hoist looped around would flex like that ... it must have been flexing up and down about 6 inches or so while that motor danced around on the end of that chain.

After things settled down and we caught our breath we finally installed the 312 in his '55 sedan and it gave him good service for several more years. His Dad and Uncle never did say a word about what complete idiots we'd been to fire that motor up out of the car ...
:rolleyes:
 
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robert campbell

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 10, 2007
Messages
4,322
Arlie must be psychic!
Rob was working on the spark plug wires on Arlie and Ryan's "J" code yesterday. Moved them around a bit for better routing. Patiently followed them to the 1,5,4,2,6,3,7,8 position..... Checked and double checked..... Hit the key an wwrrrrrrr..... pop. Crap this thing starts right up!!! Back under the hood. more double checking..... hit the key again.... stutter stutter........ nota.....

Get Arlie on the phone. "Gee Arlie, is this 351 Windsor or newer 302 cam with the other firing order?" "Nope, Rob basic 289 cam" ok, back out rob goes..... Arlie must be thinking..... "strange question for someone with Rob's purported experience"

More double checking.... yup order is right...... What is wrong dummy?

But gee Rob after looking at your manual the firing order goes counter clockwise, not clockwise on the dizzy....... DUH! How long has it been...... Well it has been a bit since I stripped a cap and rerouted all the wires from scratch.... ya ya, excuses are like ass_____.......

Gosh, runs like a top again. Old age is a killer, but when it didn't start right up, we wasted no time torturing the starter....

Rob
 
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robert campbell

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 10, 2007
Messages
4,322
Too funny! I hadn't read these before, so thanks for the "bump" Arlie! I'll add a new one of my own.

When we were just stupid teen aged kids (we're stupid adults now!) a friend of mine had a '55 Ford sedan (oh hell, now I'm REALLY dating myself ...). The old stock 272 "Y" block that was in it was getting really tired so we managed to find a bit fresher 312 "Y" block to replace it with. We were out at my buddy's uncle's farm and we had his '55 in the farm shop to do the motor swap. We'd pulled the old motor and were getting ready to re-install the "new" motor. At that point we realized that we didn't know if the "new / used" motor ran OK or not, since we'd only turned it over by hand and so we knew it wasn't seized, but we didn't know how well it ran. We came up with a brilliant idea! The "new / used" 312 was sitting on it's cast iron exhaust manifolds on a couple of blocks and it was hung from a chain block from a rafter in the ceiling of the shop. We decided that we'd put a little bit of gas into the float bowl of the carb and then hot wire the starter with a battery and just "make sure" that the motor ran OK. I mean ... it wouldn't run for very long on just that little bit of gas .... right? We filled the carb float bowl with gas, locked the throttle open, dragged over a charged battery and hot wired it to the starter ... and that motor ran just fine ... it had huge flames roaring out of the bare exhaust manifolds and it leapt off of the blocks and started swinging around the shop in ever widening circles on the chain hoist suspended from the ceiling rafter! Just about then his Dad and his Uncle walked into the shop to find a motor hanging from a chain, running full throttle, with flames roaring out of the bare exhaust manifolds and about four teen aged kids bobbing and weaving trying to stay the hell out of the way of this wild motor with a mind of it's own! They took one look at what was going on and shaking their heads they just turned around and walked back out of the shop again without saying a word ...
You wouldn't think that a motor would operate for THAT long with just the gas in the float bowl to run on, but it seemed like about 10 minutes before it finally ran out of gas and sputtered to a halt. It kept swinging around on the chain hoist for several minutes though and we just stayed the hell out of the way. It's amazing that the chain didn't break and drop the motor onto the shop floor and you wouldn't think that the rafter we had the chain hoist looped around would flex like that ... it must have been flexing up and down about 6 inches or so while that motor danced around on the end of that chain.

After things settled down and we caught our breath we finally installed the 312 in his '55 sedan and it gave him good service for several more years. His Dad and Uncle never did say a word about what complete idiots we'd been to fire that motor up out of the car ...
:rolleyes:

Ok, I give up!!!! that is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time!!!

Rob
 

dalorzo_f

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 7, 2006
Messages
1,886
Location
Brisbane Australia
Being outclassed....

#1. change oil, go to pull out the drain pan and start it for a test... pan has twice the oil it should and a filler plug still in it....:wink:

#2. car won't start after being away on a extended biz trip. Spend a while checking this that and the other thing.... nothing, cranks, won't fire. Then remember that before going on holiday put in a coil to distributor wire with the ends cut off in the caps...

#3. trusted 40+ year old engine lifting lugs. With a 390/c6 nearing the level to clear the rad support one snaps. Lucky only minor damage to the rad cross member, no hands, feet or limbs in the way.... scary moment... and glad it didn't happen 2 minutes later as it would have swung out and into to the 57 caddie brougham that was ready for paint...
 

somethingspecial

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 13, 2005
Messages
1,795
Too funny! I hadn't read these before, so thanks for the "bump" Arlie! I'll add a new one of my own.

When we were just stupid teen aged kids (we're stupid adults now!) a friend of mine had a '55 Ford sedan (oh hell, now I'm REALLY dating myself ...). The old stock 272 "Y" block that was in it was getting really tired so we managed to find a bit fresher 312 "Y" block to replace it with. We were out at my buddy's uncle's farm and we had his '55 in the farm shop to do the motor swap. We'd pulled the old motor and were getting ready to re-install the "new" motor. At that point we realized that we didn't know if the "new / used" motor ran OK or not, since we'd only turned it over by hand and so we knew it wasn't seized, but we didn't know how well it ran. We came up with a brilliant idea! The "new / used" 312 was sitting on it's cast iron exhaust manifolds on a couple of blocks and it was hung from a chain block from a rafter in the ceiling of the shop. We decided that we'd put a little bit of gas into the float bowl of the carb and then hot wire the starter with a battery and just "make sure" that the motor ran OK. I mean ... it wouldn't run for very long on just that little bit of gas .... right? We filled the carb float bowl with gas, locked the throttle open, dragged over a charged battery and hot wired it to the starter ... and that motor ran just fine ... it had huge flames roaring out of the bare exhaust manifolds and it leapt off of the blocks and started swinging around the shop in ever widening circles on the chain hoist suspended from the ceiling rafter! Just about then his Dad and his Uncle walked into the shop to find a motor hanging from a chain, running full throttle, with flames roaring out of the bare exhaust manifolds and about four teen aged kids bobbing and weaving trying to stay the hell out of the way of this wild motor with a mind of it's own! They took one look at what was going on and shaking their heads they just turned around and walked back out of the shop again without saying a word ...
You wouldn't think that a motor would operate for THAT long with just the gas in the float bowl to run on, but it seemed like about 10 minutes before it finally ran out of gas and sputtered to a halt. It kept swinging around on the chain hoist for several minutes though and we just stayed the hell out of the way. It's amazing that the chain didn't break and drop the motor onto the shop floor and you wouldn't think that the rafter we had the chain hoist looped around would flex like that ... it must have been flexing up and down about 6 inches or so while that motor danced around on the end of that chain.

After things settled down and we caught our breath we finally installed the 312 in his '55 sedan and it gave him good service for several more years. His Dad and Uncle never did say a word about what complete idiots we'd been to fire that motor up out of the car ...
:rolleyes:

YOU WIN. I almost spit my water all over my laptop. Had to wipe tears from my eyes to finish reading. That said, it all adds up to "YOU WIN"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

gt/csj4

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2012
Messages
344
Location
Westminster,CO
My dumb story from my teen years is not near as funny as some but nonetheless hilarious to me now.

16 years old, have had my 67 GTA for 2 years now, fresh motor, fresh trans, rear end...the whole bit. Only had broken in the motor with the builder and driven it around.... but, hadn't got the "kinks worked out" just yet.... so one day, against my dads knowledge/wishes, I decide "hey I own this damn car i can do as I please!" sorta attitude, "I am gonna fire it up to show off to my friends my hard work I have done"...only one liiiiitttle problem.... safety neutral switch wasn't adjusted...and the car was in drive somehow...anyway, it started up and darted straight into the chain linked fence, I panic, shut the car off, and watch my friends damn near piss themselves in laughter (car sat on the back side of my house where we had an additional 3 car garage if you can picture that, the fence separated it from the back yard)...needless to say, my newly found PERFECT UN-NOSED turn signal hood, was bent up and the original valance was bent...and the fence fell down, in the worst possible fashion.
When my dad got home, the first thing he was most pissed about was the fence! I then had to find yet another good turn signal hood for the car, but "luckily" the valance was repairable upon painting years later. And spent the next two weeks fixing a chain linked fence, to which, I had NO idea on how to fix! But, I did it!

What I learned from all this? ALWAYS have your foot on the brake when starting any old car!
 
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